Josh and I have not been on good terms for about a week now. And all the activities we had last weekend just made it worse because all I wanted was time away from him. But we had a good talk last night and he’s committed to working with his therapist to gain control of his alcoholism, which is really the root of all our problems. And he knows that there will be real consequences if he fucks up again. So I’m trying to not be mad or resentful towards him because he’s sick and needs support right now. Also I talked to my best friend about this whole thing yesterday and I had no idea how much I needed to talk to her until she texted me. (Note to self: Friends are so so important. They want to help you dummy, just ask)
So thankfully, I feel like a person again today. And I’m optimistic that Josh can get it together and a few months from now things will be great again
I keep singing “All of me” by John Legend but with the lyrics changed to..
Cause all of me.
Hates all of you.
Hates your curves and all your edges.
All your awful imperfections.
I was fuming mad at Josh this morning because he came home incredibly late last night (actually it was 6am this morning) and he’s not supposed to do that anymore. (Also I’m pretty sure he went to a strip club last night which is fine but WTF don’t do that shit on a Wednesday night and then come in stumbling and wake me up. so rude!)
BUT then I got to work and realized it’s September 11th soo I guess today isn’t the day to bitch him out about his fuck up. I’m still pretty annoyed but I’m trying not to be so I’m just going cram a bagel in my face and hope it’s deliciousness sooths my rage